Alpheia (ravyndell) wrote in muse_of_angels,
Alpheia
ravyndell
muse_of_angels

  • Mood:

Paradox

Warning: heavy


I do not cut.
I do not hurt what is outside in order to kill what hurts me inside.
I let what is destroying me inside swallow me up.
Thus you cannot ever see me drag that blade across my skin.
Thus you cannot see a scar marring my skin.
You cannot see my eyes brimmed with tears like April dewdrops.

That give you enough reason to think that I'm not in pain.
That is OK.
Really.
I look OK. I'm not bringing you down with me.
And that makes it all OK for me.
Killing my insides is protecting my outside.

I want to destroy myself with what prevents destruction.
I want to be saved by that which damns me.
I never thought you would grant me my wishes.
Now I feel near perfection.
My eternal gratitude for you, dearest.
Yet I do not feel more alive, nor more dead.
Perhaps it's becuase I am already dead...
And you can't kill a dead person.
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